Help Wanted Ad: Web Designer

Wanted: Web Designer to help with the new Web site for my extremely cutting edge, high profile, botique business. It was originally created by my 6-month old nephew who actually paid me to let him do it for me. I also need it to be ranked number one or two in a google search for “business”. The site should be breathtakingly beautiful, but simple, and easy to use.
Skills: High level flash and actionscript as well as astounding graphic design skills. XML, CSS, .NET, PHP and Database design. At least twelve years experience preferred, but if you are qualified, you need not ever have done any Web design in the past.

Compensation: I can’t actually pay you anything, but the benefit of having done my Web site should be payment enough for you anyway, right?

Deadline: I need to have the site designed, hosted, and launched in the next 25 minutes.

Please e-mail a detailed resume, online portfolio, 15 references, and a 20-page essay on why I should let you design my site.

Posted

3/18/2006

Web, Tech & Design

Matt Heerema

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Comments

11 responses to “Help Wanted Ad: Web Designer”

Yannick

3/18/2006

You’re kidding me right?

Reply
Yannick

3/18/2006

haha his 6 month old nephew. That’s a good one.

Reply
ben

3/19/2006

It’s too bad that that’s not too far off from some ads I’ve seen looking for freelance designers.

One of the best things I ever saw in the “qualifications” field was this;

Qualifications: “entry level, 3-5 years of experience in said field with 3 print, 3 web, & 2 interactive media samples”

how can you be entry level and have 3-5 years experience? some people!

Reply
Dallas Pool

3/20/2006

this seems to be about right. “Give me the world on a dime and have it up yesterday.”

*sigh*

Reply
nortypig

4/09/2006

Here here. This is indicative of most of the ads I see too. And probably phone enquiries…

Ten languages and 16 hour days with little or no reward. Throw them back lol… the sad thing is this obviously does work for them and some schmuck is filling the vacancy.

I wonder why so many people fluff their resumes? :)

Reply
uasp.net

8/02/2006

It’s very good!

Reply
Carissa Ancalle

9/01/2006

Hi! my name is Carissa and I work for omnilogic systems inc. we offer last technology, we are on promotion right know we a new company, please let me know bye e mail so that I can know if you are interested.
Thank you.

Carissa Ancalle

Reply
Milandolph

9/21/2006

We Can Design Any Website To See Our Gallery Click Below
http://www.ebizavenue.com/gallery.htm

Reply
Matt

9/22/2006

These last three are pretty much spam comments. But they are so hillarious, I’m not going to delete them.

Hooray for reading.

Reply
Sethi

4/03/2008

I am a freelancer and have extensive experience in web site development, design, maintenance and search engine optimization. I have done a couple of web sites before for diverse businesses. Understanding your needs, I am sending across a list of the web sites I have designed, developed and maintain. If you like my work and are still interested, you can get back to me at my email and I’ll be glad to send you my work and references.

Reply
Bnetfdgsjieoc

9/07/2008

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Help Wanted Ad: Web Designer

Comments

11 responses to “Help Wanted Ad: Web Designer”

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