Help Wanted Ad: Web Designer

Wanted: Web Designer to help with the new Web site for my extremely cutting edge, high profile, botique business. It was originally created by my 6-month old nephew who actually paid me to let him do it for me. I also need it to be ranked number one or two in a google search for “business”. The site should be breathtakingly beautiful, but simple, and easy to use.
Skills: High level flash and actionscript as well as astounding graphic design skills. XML, CSS, .NET, PHP and Database design. At least twelve years experience preferred, but if you are qualified, you need not ever have done any Web design in the past.

Compensation: I can’t actually pay you anything, but the benefit of having done my Web site should be payment enough for you anyway, right?

Deadline: I need to have the site designed, hosted, and launched in the next 25 minutes.

Please e-mail a detailed resume, online portfolio, 15 references, and a 20-page essay on why I should let you design my site.






11 responses to “Help Wanted Ad: Web Designer”

  1. Yannick Avatar

    You’re kidding me right?

  2. Yannick Avatar

    haha his 6 month old nephew. That’s a good one.

  3. ben Avatar

    It’s too bad that that’s not too far off from some ads I’ve seen looking for freelance designers.

    One of the best things I ever saw in the “qualifications” field was this;

    Qualifications: “entry level, 3-5 years of experience in said field with 3 print, 3 web, & 2 interactive media samples”

    how can you be entry level and have 3-5 years experience? some people!

  4. Dallas Pool Avatar

    this seems to be about right. “Give me the world on a dime and have it up yesterday.”


  5. nortypig Avatar

    Here here. This is indicative of most of the ads I see too. And probably phone enquiries…

    Ten languages and 16 hour days with little or no reward. Throw them back lol… the sad thing is this obviously does work for them and some schmuck is filling the vacancy.

    I wonder why so many people fluff their resumes? :)

  6. Avatar

    It’s very good!

  7. Carissa Ancalle Avatar

    Hi! my name is Carissa and I work for omnilogic systems inc. we offer last technology, we are on promotion right know we a new company, please let me know bye e mail so that I can know if you are interested.
    Thank you.

    Carissa Ancalle

  8. Milandolph Avatar

    We Can Design Any Website To See Our Gallery Click Below

  9. Matt Avatar

    These last three are pretty much spam comments. But they are so hillarious, I’m not going to delete them.

    Hooray for reading.

  10. Sethi Avatar

    I am a freelancer and have extensive experience in web site development, design, maintenance and search engine optimization. I have done a couple of web sites before for diverse businesses. Understanding your needs, I am sending across a list of the web sites I have designed, developed and maintain. If you like my work and are still interested, you can get back to me at my email and I’ll be glad to send you my work and references.

  11. Bnetfdgsjieoc Avatar

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